Wow, the Pirate Theater website is finally up! Mad props to Brian for doing such a great job. The site is fantastic.

My one complaint would be with the “crew” section. I have noticed that you people are not taking it at all seriously, using pictures that are not really you and giving wacky responses to reasonable inquiries. You are making Pirate Theater seem like a bunch of DOOFS when in fact Pirate Theater has traditionally been a well-behaved bunch of Christians or Jews or whatever you mofos are. Anyway, as founder of this organization, I request that all of you guys remove your fake “zany” pictures and replace them with legitimate, decent ones. Preferably a nice photo of you in a suit and tie. I think that would add a much needed touch of class to the site. And you girls should submit a nice, classy headshot. Or, you could post a nude photo if you want as long as it is TASTEFUL. No spread legs or anything like that. Maybe a topless picture with your hands over your breasts like that Jennifer Aniston poster.

Okay, that’s all. Remember, if it’s not Pirate Theater, it’s CRAP!